'As with the commander of an army, or the leader of any enterprise, so it is with a Great Writer and his house.' Great Writer's Household Tips covers all your household needs, indoors and outdoors, from pruning a rose bush with Pablo Neruda to mending a dripping tap with John-Paul Sartre. Throwing a tea-party? Irvine Welsh has the recipe for the perfect chocolate cake, though that's not all he's cooking.

Brilliant, hilarious, and always pitch-perfect, this omnibus edition of Mark Crick's wonderful books of literary pastiche will inform and entertain the most erudite of householders.