Imagine yourself as an underachieving adult with unfulfilled dreams of being a professional clown. Now imagine yourself as a closeted clown that tightropes in your bedroom closet with the lights off. You are now married with kids. Your friends and family have finally pushed you to the edge of certifiable insanity. Your mother has been arrested for stealing free cheese from the W.I.C. office. Your father's (John) motto is never let them see you sober. Your oldest brother (Steve) is a perverted embezzling fake white supremacist. Your two younger twin brothers (Lonnie & Vonnie) are too lazy to open their mouths to talk properly so they mumble. Your oldest son (Braxton) plays with feces. Your youngest son (Steward) behaves as if he is the Black Unabomber. Your best friend (Opi) has an amazing tolerance for drugs. Your wife's 6'6' grandmother (Hatti Patti) thinks that she is a black vampire. Last, but not least, your wife--(Treva)—your wife breaks all Ten Commandments every day. This is the story of Jax Heumont. Jax hails from the Southlands of the United States of America. His life is filled with so much comedic chaos that he doesn't know what serenity would feel like because he never experiences it. His ongoing battle against his arch nemesis, his wife Treva, and his inability to control his stranger than fiction family and friends is the main focus of this book. “The King of the Hapless” will enlighten you on the ins and outs of Pure Unadulterated Southern Love and Revenge. This is a book that will help you feel better about your short comings. Experiencing these inspirational stories about people who are hapless in their journey to achieve their dreams will give you the satisfaction of knowing that the world is full of people just like you. If you are not illiterate you will absolutely love "The King of the Hapless".